Tuesday, January 30, 2007

This Isn't Easy

This is a completely non-knitting post so feel free to skip it.

Joseph had an incident in school yesterday and I am at a complete loss as to how to deal with the ever growing problem. He is being bullied at school. I've spoken to his teacher and principle about the incident yesterday but my heart is breaking for Joseph. In a quick nutshell here is what happened yesterday.

Boy #1 tells Joseph "Wanna see something?"
Joseph "Sure."
Boy #1 "Lift up your leg."

Joseph lifts his leg and boy #1 grabs it. Boy #2 comes along and kicks Joseph in the other leg and crash goes Joseph to the concrete. He is very lucky that he wasn't seriously hurt. I went with him to school this morning to talk to the principle. His teacher arrived later and we discussed it with his teacher. Joseph was so distraught over everything that happened yesterday he was crying and hyperventilating and complaining of chest pains. His teacher finally suggested to Joseph he go to the doctor to check things out. We did that this afternoon and thank God everything is fine. His teacher is VERY good at dealing with the children in these situations and he isn't the type that will let things slide. He will stop teaching if he finds something out because he says that safety is the most important thing and if a child doesn't feel safe in school he can't learn.

Joseph is an extremely intelligent child. He is big like his mom. It started when I went to work full time when he went into grade 1 and he has gotten bigger over the years. I believe that is the cause of the bullying in school. I am not justifying it, I am simply saying I think that's where it's coming from. One of the boys that were involved in this incident yesterday tried extorting money out of Joseph last semester. He basically told Joseph he would leave him alone if he gave him $5. To my utter disbelief, when I found out about this incident, Joseph gave him the $5. When the kid came back for more money Joseph said no and then the principle found out about it as well as the teacher. I am not quite sure what the consequences of his actions were because I didn't find out about any of this until I went to Joseph's school for parent teacher interviews in November.

Here are a lot of my worries. Things will only get worse when Joseph goes off the high school. Kids are the cruelest creatures on earth. I am worried about the bullying he will have to endure. I want him to learn to stand up for himself. If he doesn't learn that who knows what might happen to him once he hits high school. I don't want him getting into drugs because he is afraid. He can't go through life being afraid and I am not quite sure how to help him.

I spoke to the doctor about it this afternoon. She is going to refer him to this doctor's office. We tried this doctor a few years ago but maybe with me losing weight and eating healthier he will be ready to do the same himself. If nothing else, I want him to see someone he can talk to that will listen to what he is going through and help him realize what a wonderful person he is. I talk to him and try to encourage him. He is not yelled at or put down at home. Quite the contrary. But so much of how children turn out can have a lot to do with their friends and experiences in school. I don't want him being miserable his entire life. I've tried getting him into Tai Kwan Do and he didn't want any part of it. When he was in grade 1 I tried putting him in gymnastics and he was too uncoordinated for it and he was miserable. He goes swimming but that's not enough. I am going to try and ask him if he wants to do boxing so he can at least learn to defend himself but I'm not sure if he will go for it.

As a parent you want what's best for your child. Now if I could only figure out how to get there I'd be a much happier camper.


  • At 7:49 p.m., Blogger Sheila said…

    Is there a swim team in the area that he could join? Swimming is a wonderful physical activity, good exercise and a good confidence booster. It will help him with his self-confidence and concentration in his school work. Bullying is a big problem in schools and a big worry for the parents. Good luck.

  • At 9:50 p.m., Blogger Beth said…

    I feel sad about this. But I have no advice. I'm so sorry for both of you.

  • At 9:26 a.m., Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Rochelle...this is very painful, indeed. Have you considered a "weight loss" camp for your son? I have heard good things about these programs and it is good for your son to be with other children that are facing many of the same isues as him.Good Luck!


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